10:30 pm, 6/24/07 We got a call from our son-in-law, Aaron. He asked us to come get our grandson, Keslar. Aaron and my great-with-child-daughter, Aubrey, were waiting for us to get Kes so that they could go to the hospital to HAVE A BABY!!! Keslar is going to have sibling very soon!

We got another call from Aaron around 12:45 a.m. He said that all is going well but the baby is still not quite ready to make his debut. He promises to call when the baby is waiting in the wings so we can be there for the arrival.

So it’s 1:27 a.m., 6/25/07 and we wait…we already know that the new kiddo is a boy and he’ll be named Ty. It’s so weird to be sitting here on my couch, typing on my laptop, while my daughter, my own flesh and blood, is working away at one of the toughest, sweetest experiences of her life. I’m drinking my fourth or fifth cup of coffee, not wanting to fall asleep because it wouldn’t seem right. I don’t want to sleep while such a huge thing is happening…

I’m wondering what Ty will be like. Will he have his mom’s eyes? Will he get his dad’s horse sense? Will he be another example of perfection like his brother or will he test his parents’ patience? What quirks will he have? What challenges will he face in life? What will he excel at? Is his future wife already born? How will he leave his mark? What will he think of me?

This grandfather thing is another step deeper into life for me. To be a good dad is one thing, but somehow to be a good grandfather has a whole new set of rules. Wisdom. Experience. Patience. Time. Attention. Somehow, I thought that I’d be a lot older and more qualified when my kids had kids. I just assumed that this happened to 60 or 70 year-olds, not 40 year olds! I feel too young and dumb for the job. Heck, I feel like I’m still cutting my teeth on my kids. But, ready or not…

2:21 am - Lord, this morning I pray for my daughter and son in law as they wrestle new life into being. Let this moment bring them more closely together as another symbol of their love falls into their arms. I pray for my grandson Keslar as he waits to be wakened to be taken to the hospital and into big-brotherhood. Let him be a good example and friend to his brother. I pray for my wife as she sleeps, so excited to have another person to focus her love on. Give her the time and youth she desires to pour herself into her new love. I pray for my other kids, as they wait up or sleep by their phones, waiting for word. Let them never become strangers to each other’s kids. I pray for me as I struggle to stay awake. Help me stay awake to the needs and wonder of the life that is soon to come.

I pray for Ty. Let him come soon. Help him be all that you dream for him.

4:15 am - The call has come. He’s stepped from the green room to the wings. We’re on our way to greet him!

6:30 am - We are back from the hospital. All is well! God has introduced another miracle. Ty Bartly Bates is among us! We’ve just met him and he’s as awesome as we expected. Good night!

I saw this video on Good Morning American this morning, and was pulled in right away…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0dzZTPWrSM

I’ll never stop being intrigued by the power of music to speak to some deep, hidden parts of our spirits in some mystical way. I don’t know the guy in the video. This is the first time I’ve ever seen him, but after I heard a little bit of his story, and then began to hear him sing, my emotions began to well up. The emotion of the song, paired with the unlikeliness of the singer really touched me. Even though the foreign words of the song made no sense to me, it spoke feelings of longing and hope and freedom to my heart all at the same time (yes, I know this is sounding sappy).

It reminds me of the scene in The Shawshank Redemption when Andy Dufresne locked himself in with the prison’s PA system and played a record of Canzonetta Sull’aria from Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro to be heard all over the prison. For a moment, all of the prisoners paused their gray, hopeless lives and basked in the golden song of two sopranos as they sung some spiritual message of hope deep into their souls.

I’ve heard it said that God began His story by singing creation into existence with “Let there be light,” and that He fades out the future singing His finale “Yes, I’m coming soon!” Some believe that a constant soundtrack is sung by God himself from the first moment to the last, singing a song of hope and invitation to His people. Maybe that is the song we strangely recognize in the notes and voices that stir us unexpectedly.

I meant no Sunday School lesson or deep spiritual point here, just fascination…

Today, my oldest son, and third in my series of kids, turns twenty. His name is Pete, and I am proud of him. Before he was born, we decided on the name “Peter” because of his namesake in the Bible. The Bible version of Peter (meaning “rock”) was strong, impulsive, sensitive, loyal, genuine, passionate and likeable. I had always wanted to be like him, and Debbie and I decided that a son would do well to follow in his footsteps also.

A funny thing happened on the way to The Rock. My son, Peter, having a strong dose of his dad’s genes, grew up a lot like me. Everyone tells me it’s true, but I’m too close to the situation to see it. Although I can see that he looks a little like me, I’m told that the real resemblance is in our personality and demeanor. When those parts of the total package are applied to the physical shell, I guess the similarity is pretty scary. I’m thinking he’s a new, improved version of his dad.

This whole idea of being and leaving a human legacy among people really has me thinking. I wanted to be like this great example, Peter, in the Bible, so I studied him and got to know him the best one can from the gleanings of paper and ink. I don’t know how well I’ve done, but the point is that because he lived out an example worth imitating, I just might be better than I would have been without him.

And then I think about being a dad, and all of influence I have over my own son, both through genes, nurture, and faith. I wonder if I have, in any way, passed the spirit of Peter on to Pete. And how about my other kids…have they caught it? Have they become any more like Peter (and hopefully like Jesus) because of who I am? And how about my wife? My parents? My friends?

I think most of us underestimate how much we pass on parts of ourselves to other people. We’re sort of blind to it because we’re a little close to the situation, but our impact is no less real. That reality makes me want to aspire to be a better man. To be conscious of who I’m reflecting as I live. To be more purposeful in passing along the honorable traits of Jesus and Peter and David and John to those around me. To be an example that good people would want to emulate. That gives meaning to my life. To bring out the best in people by being my best to people.

It makes me want to be like Peter for Pete’s sake!

I seem to have integrity on my mind lately. It peppers my conversation quite a bit. Probably to the point of being a broken record.

Up to recently, integrity has been more of an ethical concept to me than a spiritual one. It’s the thing that every business says they want their employees to have. It’s what Steven Covey has made a zillion dollars talking about. To me, integrity has been sort of a sterile, moral concept that is about being a straight-shooter and an upstanding person. Ward and June Cleaver were my integrity icons.

Then, not long ago, I was wading around in some internet ooze and I tripped over a statement that said integrity is about being totally consistent and predictable, no matter what the setting or situation. It’s not as much about being moral all the time. It’s about being who you are all the time. Now, that gave the bland old word a little kick. It gave me images of people who are authentic and real no matter what, no matter where. Old crusts who tell it like it is and don’t care who hears them. Young turks who are as boldly irreverent around authority figures as they are around their friends. Gentlemen and ladies who are as courteous and polite around their spouses and families as they are with strangers.

There’s just something really, really appealing about this brand of integrity. Just think if we all could be ourselves all the time. No airs. No hypocrisy. No two-facedness. Just who we are, wherever we are, all the time. Good or bad, everyone knowing where everyone stands. People who are consistently good or predictably bad or unswervingly ambivalent: all would be considered people of integrity.

But this is where the integrity thing gets gritty. It draws some real questions for me. Maybe for the integrity-purist, being who-we-are-all-the-time, no-matter-what-we-are is a noble pursuit. It probably is more noble than going around being a chameleon, changing our colors each time we walk through a church door, or an office door or the side door of our home. But for a follower of Jesus, another layer of degree of complexity is added. Not only are we to be who we are, all the time, no matter what. We are also called to be like Jesus all the time, all the time, no matter what. Can those two ideas live in the same body? Well, I if “who you are” just happens to be just like Jesus, I guess it’s not a problem. But what about the rest of us? What do we do with genuineness and being true to who God made us? Do we live out integrity by consistently stuffing our identity and faking that of Jesus?

That’s a tough one. I think we really are called to be consistently, predictably like Him. And we are to be true to how he made us. How do we do that? How do we stitch the two together? Is it possible that we find the answer when we look at Jesus’ ability to be fully God and fully human? I am not suggesting that we could ever be fully God, but could that same dynamic that went on in Jesus take place in us? Could we allow that which is fully human to live consistently through us as long as it doesn’t conflict with the godly? Can we totally be ourselves all the time, everywhere, accept when it isn’t being totally Christlike? Could it be that, in the world of the Kingdom, where the Holy Spirit brings about unlikely but true change that “being myself” grows closer to “being like Jesus” until they dance together, foot-in-shoe, everywhere, all the time?

I am asking the question. If you have an idea, leave a comment.

I have some questions as I look around at the way things are. I’m trying to compare what I’m seeing to Jesus’ life and teachings and see how things line up…

Maybe I’m just getting to be an old man. Maybe I’m slowly fading out of the mainstream. Maybe I’m a product of some old school moral/ethical grid that has narrowed my view…I’m open to any of those possibilities.

Here’s what I’m wondering about…

- Is any kind of behavior okay as long as it’s in the name of “fun”?
- If we are indulging in “entertainment” are we okay to loosen our need to discern right vs. wrong and participation vs. abstaining?
- Should the way we, as Christians, pursue fun or indulgence or entertainment have any marked difference from those who aren’t followers of Jesus?
- How do we choose between grace-driven liberty and responsibility when we are serious about redeeming our world?

Maybe I’m wrong, but at times it seems like we’re getting a little sloppy. Here are some real examples:

- We have become daily consumers of Jackass-ian entertainment such as YouTube, break.com and other forms of hilarious, jaw-dropping, envelope-pushing media. Christians seem to be shameless connoisseurs of video outtakes and bits that we’d have blushed over, shied away from, or gagged at in the past.
- We are regular voyeurs of intimacy, violence and wise-ass humor through movies and music. Christians are renting the same movies and downloading the same tunes as those who have no claim on pursuit of spiritual health.
- Speaking of “wise-ass,” the vocabulary of the twenty-something Christian continues to get a little spicier, and little earthier. It’s like we’re trying out the words that we haven’t felt right about saying in the past, indulging in a little verbal decadence that gives us some sense of release or freedom. What’s more satisfying than cussing up a blue-streak? Maybe an off-color joke, off-the-record?
- I’m hearing all too often of Christian young adults who are passing from moderate enjoyers of a little alcohol to regular abusers.
- Christian “friends-with-benefits”…need I say more? All the fun with none of the commitment…

Am I being unfair? Is this stuff we deal with or deal in? So, in the world of God’s grace, is all that stuff okay? I mean, we are free aren’t we? We have liberty to enjoy life, to have fun, to not taking everything too seriously, right? We can let our guard down and just be, can’t we? Yeah…but something’s not feeling right.

Looking at this dilemma makes me think of a certain cut from the Bible, 1 Corinthians 10:23-24. Paul says it so well in The Message: “Looking at it one way, you could say, ‘Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.’ But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well.”

Dang. Once again, it’s not about me. Really, technically, we can do anything we want without fear of Hell or punishment. Some of us seem out to prove that! But by thinking that way, we’re WAY missing the point. I have a sense that God is not as concerned with releasing us to find the outer limits of our own liberty as He is to release us from our own junk so we are free to reflect a purified image of humanity to others who are bound up in a miserable existence. Whether it’s by political and economic oppression or by emotional and spiritual brokenness, people all around us are not free. God has freed us so we, by example, can help release in others the freedom to both totally know His love and to do the right thing as much as possible. This is the greater purpose that we may be missing when we are just viewing liberty as a personal thing that God has given us to do our own thing and have a good time.

I want to challenge anyone patient enough to read this far to begin to see themselves as God’s. To embrace the truth of the statement “We are His workmanship, created for good works in Christ.” I’d like to lay out the idea that we’re allowed and encouraged to have a ton of fun, but that we should always dial in Paul’s opinion that “our foremost efforts should be to help others live well.” Sometimes that calls for restraint. When we’re restrained for the benefit of someone else, we’ve found real liberty.

There’s an industry that has taken the deepest, most intimate part of the most important relationship and has profaned it. This industry has spent billions of dollars and trillions of creative thoughts to make this intimate relationship a consumer draw. It has changed the focus from mutual devotion to self-gratification. It makes the relationship a spectator-sport where people are invited to watch others act out their ecstasy. It builds false expectations by putting emphasis on qualities like “size” and “intensity” while ignoring the authentic parts of the relationship that makes it more complex and personal. This industry continues to thrive on its ability to create a habit-forming progression of a greater need for an ever more intense, more exciting experience of the act instead of the relationship.

Some might even confuse this industry, the Consumer-Driven Church, with the Porn Industry.

Blogging is a little like away-messages and prayer. They are are done with the assumption that someone cares what we’re up to or what we have to say. Okay, to be honest, they are done with a need for someone else to care. We all want to matter in life and we all have a bit of built-in desire to be part of making a difference to someone else.

This blog is no different. My hope is that I might say something that matters to someone else once in a while. Regardless, my need for someone else to care will keep me writing and praying. I pray that it will keep you checking back in once in a while.